she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
