thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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