The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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