I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize