im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
