..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
BRING THE BAGELS
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
