we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
