i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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