he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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