the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize