i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
