I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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