Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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