That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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