Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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