About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
