THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
No stitches, just platelets and will power
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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