Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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