Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
