batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
