chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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