I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
