And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
