I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
