I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
