You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Randomize
