So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
