Your face is a jimmy john
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
