Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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