Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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