I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My breasts were aching with rage.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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