I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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