its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
