I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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