Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
