You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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