Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
it's like heaven, but drunker
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
