You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
