She's JV to your varsity
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
