I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
