Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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