Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
