Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I'm really busy with my period
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