I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
