I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize