I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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