I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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