I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
