He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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