I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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