I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
