We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
