at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I need to align my fucking chakras
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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