just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
