would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
