we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
