Me. At least after what I've been through.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So squirting runs in the family.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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