Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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