I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You did what with his pubic hair?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
