She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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