last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize