Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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