i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
