We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
